Tag Archives: Jim Cornette

Jim Cornette vs. Cowabunga 8/19/93 Highlights (GIFs)

Some wrestling finds are exciting. This match sort of can be described as exciting…sort of.

Apparently,  Jim Cornette once booked himself against a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle knockoff in Smokey Mountain Wrestling way back in 1993 – I was certain that this would be one of those exciting finds. I had no expectations of a technical masterpiece or anything but surely it would be at least humorous, right?

Before passing too much judgment, here is the original match in its entirety. Watch it for yourself if you’d like. Don’t worry, I’ve compiled the .gifs and written out my comments ahead of time, so I’m good if you want to watch the whole thing. Otherwise, keep on scrolling down.

Did you watch it all? It’s okay if not because holy crap, the whole thing is 18 minutes long. Sure, that includes entrances and post-match stuff, but it somehow feels way longer than 18 minutes. Maybe it’s all the hard to hear banter for the first few minutes.

The wrestling’s fairly boring but I can acknowledge that I’m looking at it from 2016 standards. For a 1993 match and considering that Jim Cornette is one of the wrestlers (no offense to him, it’s just that he made his career not as a wrestler), it probably wouldn’t have been so bad at the time. I would’ve been 11 if I watched this one live so I’ll be honest and admit that I probably would’ve thought this match was fantastic if I saw it in person.

Here are some of the best moments of this gem from 23 years ago, with my own snarky comments to accompany the visuals. Enjoy…

Jim Cornette vs. Cowabunga (August 19th, 1993)

There were lots of shenanigans in the early goings here. The two competitors kept taunting each other and delaying any physical contact, like when Cowabunga tunneled under the referee’s legs to startle Jim. Sneaky, sneaky.

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Okay, the following one IS NOT PG at all. Cornette had his green opponent in a simple side headlock. No worries so far, right? Well, Cowabunga then used only his thumb to escape from Jim’s clutches, inserting it into a very specific orifice. He probably needed to wash his turtle fingers after the match was over.

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Cornette did exercise some ring awareness in this matchup, like when he performed this leg sweep to Cowabunga. The turtle took the roughest bump of the match here, landing accordion-style on the mat.

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You’ve got to at least give some props to Cornette here. He was bumping and throwing hip tosses and made an actual effort to put on a somewhat serious wrestling match. Well, serious in the sense that you still have to ignore the fact that Jim’s in a red full body spandex outfit grappling a dude in a lime green turtle costume. Not enough attention is given to Jim’s getup – why the all red?

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He’s hulking up! Cornette, you’ve done messed up!

This is easily the biggest high spot of the contest. Cowabunga walked the ropes while holding Cornette’s arm a la Undertaker’s Old School, then went all luchador on his opponent with a pretty sweet arm drag.

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At this point, Cowabunga took a body slam from Jim and found himself…turtled. Because of course he did. He is a turtle, after all. That shell probably helps absorbs chair shots but it isn’t going to help with his mobility.

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That Jim Cornette, he’s the type of guy who doesn’t shy away from putting over the younger talent. That green guy better have shook Jim’s hand and thanked him for doing the favors. Something tells me we haven’t seen the last of Cowabunga!

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Final Thoughts

The turtle won. That’s pretty much my conclusion because Jim Cornette wrestling a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle simply is what it is. It’s a strange thing to witness but wrestling’s a subjective artform…or something.

Follow me on Twitter @MitchNickelson.

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Jim Cornette Blasts Creative Over Last Week’s Leaked Raw Script

Last week, Monday Night Raw’s script was leaked online. The script can be viewed here, but good luck reading it. The monstrosity is 28 pages long and instructs wrestlers on way more than could have been fathomed.

Wrestlers were given line-by-line instructions and were even told how they should respond with facial expressions. This extreme amount of hand-holding angered the legendary Jim Cornette who took to social media to let WWE have it. On September 5th, he voiced his outrage with this tweet

RAW “script” leaked on internet–28 pgs for 3 hrs–BULLS***–best wrestling TV ever was 1 page format and let wrestlers do their jobs–

Then, he jabbed directly at the writers. Since no outright cursing is in this tweet, it’ll get posted in directly…

Another gem came later as well…

Some say today’s talent need “scripts” to speak–I say train them properly in the right place (a la ) & that s***’s not needed

Personally, I agree with Cornette. Allowing individuals to develop their characters without having agents and scriptwriters holding their hands every step of the way gives them more of a chance to be a breakout star. Put those workers in a sink or swim situation. Many will sink, yes. But the ones who rise to the occasion will have the chance to a breakout star in ways that could never be scripted.

Imagine how lame the Attitude Era would have been if Stone Cold or The Rock had to memorize every line they spoke. They had way more control over what they said and what moves they did. Jericho recounts on his Talk Is Jericho podcast frequently how he would often be given a finish only during his WCW matches. The old-timers figured out how the matches would play out amongst themselves, sometimes in the ring as the match was happening.

Sure, there were guys like Randy Savage and DDP who would plan matches step-for-step in the past eras, but they were considered the anomalies of their time. Thankfully there are still house shows, where improv is still okay.

So what do you think? Is Cornette being too hard on the current product? I threw my opinion in on the matter, so you know I agree with him. Add your thoughts below in the comments section. And as always, remember to look me up on Twitter @MitchNickelson.

Baconator On A Pole Match?

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by Mitch Nickelson

Pointed out by rajah.com, a long-standing beef (get it?) between Jim Cornette and Vince Russo has received an unlikely arbitrator…fast food mega-giant Wendy’s.

The mysterious person who runs Wendy’s official twitter account seems to be up on their wrestling rivalries because Russo and Cornette are not exactly household names to today’s audience. Both men at one point or another have been considered some of the more influential persons in wrestling’s most important time periods. They both have their detractors as well. Here is a more complete account of the exchange…

Vince Russo: “I’d love to have peace with Jim Cornette. But, I can’t do that alone. Maybe one day he will open up.”

Jim Cornette after a Russo fan chimed in: “Please keep your “fans” at the kid’s table, they’re bleeding over into my adults’ conversation–”

Russo: “Speaking of adult conversations. Why don’t we have one so we can end this foolishness. Life is too short, Jim.”

Cornette: “Some people’s are not short enough–”

Russo fan: “Irony here is Jim is eating a @Wendys triple with cheese while he typed that.”

Wendy’s: “We could settle this with a Baconator on a pole match. ;)”

Cornette: “I might do it for Wendy, but she changed her meat!”

At this point, you might be asking yourself, “Just what is a Baconator on a Pole Match?” Good question. Sometimes the item at the top of the pole is used as a weapon and the match doesn’t necessarily end. Other times, the item at the top of the pole is the prize that the wrestlers are battling over and retrieving said item means that the match is over. It can be sort of like a ladder match.

Since there has never been a Baconator On A Pole match before, we’ll need to consult other ‘…On A Pole’ matches throughout wrestling’s history. Here are two matches with something on a pole, one being a somewhat good idea and the other being an extremely bad idea.

GOOD IDEA: Christmas Present On A Pole Match

This is a recent ‘…On A Pole Match,’ happening on the 2013 Christmas edition of Raw. Dolph Ziggler and Fandango (with Summer Rae) battled it out while a Christmas present hung on a pole high above a corner post. Fandango won the present, which represented a #1 Contender shot at the Intercontinental Championship. This is a somewhat sensible use of this gimmick match.

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BAD IDEA: Viagra On A Pole Match

Near the end of WCW, Shane Douglas and Billy Kidman were involved in some atrocity known as a “Viagra On A Pole Match.” Torrie Wilson and Ernest “The Cat” Miller have something to do with this. I’ve personally never seen this match and have no intentions of doing so. I think whoever got the Viagra won, maybe?
                                                                                                                                               

That’s a fun news item for today. Remember to follow me @MitchNickelson and of course check back here for all the fun stuff from Mitch and Al and Rosie. The format of this site might change slightly over the next couple of weeks, but it should be for the better. Al and I have been talking about podcasts, so hopefully that happens.